EMDR Therapy: What Actually Happens in a Session (And What Doesn't)
You've heard EMDR can help with trauma, anxiety, or those memories that won't stop haunting you. But when someone says "eye movement therapy," your brain probably conjures up some weird hypnosis scene or a therapist waving their fingers around while you spill your deepest secrets.
Let me clear this up: EMDR isn't magic, it's not hypnosis, and no, I'm not going to make you cluck like a chicken.
As an EMDR-trained therapist in Dallas who works with athletes and adults dealing with trauma and anxiety, I've answered these questions more times than I can count. So let's walk through what actually happens in an EMDR session - the real, unglamorous, science-backed version.
What EMDR Actually Is (In Plain English)
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. I know, super catchy name. Here's what that actually means:
Your brain has a natural healing process. When you cut your hand, your body knows how to heal it - unless something gets in the way. Trauma works the same way in your brain. When something overwhelming happens (a car accident, a bad injury, chronic stress, childhood experiences), your brain sometimes gets "stuck" trying to process it.
The memory doesn't get filed away properly. Instead, it stays raw and accessible, which is why a random smell, sound, or situation can suddenly make you feel like you're back in that moment. Your body reacts like the threat is happening right now, even though logically you know it's over.
EMDR helps your brain finish the job. Using bilateral stimulation (we'll get to what that means), EMDR helps your brain reprocess stuck memories so they get filed away where they belong…in the past. You still remember what happened, but it loses its emotional punch. The memory becomes information instead of a current threat.
Think of it like this: before EMDR, the memory is an open wound that keeps getting infected. After EMDR, it's a scar…you can see it, you remember how it happened, but it doesn't hurt anymore.
What EMDR Is NOT
Let's kill some myths right now:
It's not hypnosis. You're fully awake and in control the entire time. You can stop whenever you want. There's no trance, no loss of consciousness, no weird suggestibility stuff.
You don't have to describe your trauma in detail. One of the biggest misconceptions. You can if you want to, but many of my clients prefer to give me the CliffNotes version. I don't need every detail to target the memory effectively.
It's not just for PTSD. EMDR was originally developed for post-traumatic stress disorder, but it's proven effective for anxiety, panic attacks, phobias, depression, sports performance anxiety, and even relationship issues rooted in past experiences.
It doesn't erase memories. Your brain isn't a hard drive where we delete files. The memory stays; what changes is how your nervous system reacts to it.
The eye movements aren't the magic part. Bilateral stimulation (eye movements, tapping, sounds) is just the tool. The real work is your brain doing what it's designed to do - process and integrate information.
What Actually Happens: The 8 Phases Broken Down
EMDR has eight phases, but you don't go through all eight in every session. Think of them more like a roadmap. Here's the real-deal breakdown:
Phase 1-2: History and Preparation (Usually Sessions 1-3)
What happens: We talk. A lot. I'm gathering your history, understanding what's been going on, identifying what you want to work on. This isn't EMDR processing yet…this is us building a foundation.
We'll also work on coping skills and grounding techniques. I call this your "emotional toolkit." If processing brings up difficult feelings (and it often does), you need tools to manage them between sessions.
How long this takes: Depends on your history. If you're dealing with a single traumatic event, maybe 1-2 sessions. If you have complex trauma or a long history of difficult experiences, we might spend 3-4 sessions here. Some people need longer, and that's okay, we're not racing.
Real talk: This phase feels like regular therapy. If you're eager to "get to the EMDR part," I get it. But skipping preparation is like trying to run a marathon without training. The setup matters.
Phase 3: Assessment (Every Processing Session)
What happens: We identify the specific memory or experience we're targeting. I'll ask you:
What image represents the worst part of the memory?
What negative belief do you have about yourself because of it? (Examples: "I'm not safe," "I'm powerless," "I'm not good enough")
What emotion does this bring up?
Where do you feel it in your body?
How disturbing is it right now, on a scale of 0-10?
Example from my practice: A client dealing with a sports injury might identify the image of lying on the field, the belief "My career is over," the emotion of fear and grief, tightness in their chest, and rate it an 8 out of 10.
Why we do this: It gives us a baseline. We'll track how the distress level changes as we process.
Phase 4: Desensitization (The Main Event)
What happens: This is what people picture when they think of EMDR. You hold the memory in your mind (not analyzing it, just noticing it) while I guide bilateral stimulation.
Bilateral stimulation options:
Eye movements: I move my fingers back and forth across your visual field, and you follow with your eyes
Tapping: I alternate tapping on your knees, or you tap your own shoulders/thighs
Audio tones: Headphones with sounds alternating left-right (especially useful for telehealth)
What you do: Focus on the memory while the bilateral stimulation happens. After each set (usually 30-60 seconds), I'll ask: "What are you noticing?" You tell me whatever comes up - new thoughts, images, body sensations, emotions, or even "nothing changed."
Then we do it again. And again. Each time, something shifts. The distress might go down. New memories might surface. Insights might pop up that you've never had before.
How long this takes: It varies wildly. Sometimes a memory processes in one session. Sometimes it takes 3-5 sessions. Complex trauma? Could be months. There's no timer on healing.
What it feels like: Most clients describe it as surprisingly undramatic. You're not sobbing the whole time (though sometimes tears happen). You're not reliving the trauma in some intense, Hollywood way. It's more like... watching scenes from a movie that's gradually losing its grip on you.
Phase 5: Installation
What happens: Once the distress is down (ideally to a 0 or 1), we strengthen the positive belief. Remember that negative belief we identified? ("I'm not safe," "I'm powerless") Now we install the positive version: "I'm safe now," "I have control," "I survived and I'm strong."
We pair the memory with this new belief while doing more bilateral stimulation. The goal is to make the positive belief feel true, not just intellectually but in your gut.
Phase 6: Body Scan
What happens: I ask you to think about the original memory and the positive belief, then scan your body for any tension, tightness, or discomfort.
Why this matters: Trauma lives in the body, not just the mind. Even after emotional distress decreases, your body might still hold tension. If we find anything, we process it with more bilateral stimulation until your body feels neutral or calm.
Phase 7: Closure
What happens: We make sure you're stable before leaving the session. If we didn't finish processing a memory, I'll walk you through grounding techniques to help you feel okay until the next session.
I'll also give you a heads-up: it's normal to feel tired, emotional, or have vivid dreams after EMDR. Your brain continues processing between sessions. Think of it like a mental workout—you might feel sore the next day.
What I recommend: Clear your calendar after EMDR sessions if you can. Take a nap, go for a walk, do something gentle. Don't schedule a big presentation or difficult conversation right after. Give yourself space.
Phase 8: Reevaluation
What happens: At the start of the next session, we check in. How has the memory felt since last time? Any new stuff come up? Has your distress stayed low, or did it spike again?
This helps us figure out if we need to keep working on this target or if we're ready to move to the next one.
Common Questions I Get About EMDR
"Do I have to talk about the details of my trauma?"
Nope. You can if it helps you, but it's not required. I need enough information to identify and target the memory, but I don't need a play-by-play. Some clients give me the full story; others say, "It was something that happened when I was 10," and that's all I need.
This is especially helpful for athletes dealing with public failures or injuries - you don't have to relive every moment of the game where you got hurt or the competition where you choked.
"Will I be in control during the session?"
Yes. Completely. You're awake, alert, and can stop me at any point. EMDR is not hypnosis. There's no altered state of consciousness. You're the one steering the ship; I'm just the guide.
"How long until I feel better?"
The most frustrating answer: it depends. Research shows that for single-incident trauma (like a car accident or one-time assault), many people see significant relief in 3-6 sessions. For complex trauma or multiple difficult experiences, it could take several months.
I've had clients with sports performance anxiety feel better after 4-5 sessions. I've had others dealing with childhood trauma work with me for a year. Everyone's brain processes at its own pace.
"What if I can't handle the emotions that come up?"
This is why we spend time in the preparation phase building your coping skills first. You won't be thrown into deep processing without tools to manage what comes up.
Also, EMDR works in a dose-by-dose way. We're not forcing you to face everything at once. If something feels too intense, we slow down or stop. Your nervous system's capacity is always respected.
"Can I do EMDR via telehealth?"
Yes! And it works just as well. I use virtual bilateral stimulation tools (like audio tones through headphones or having you tap your own shoulders while watching a ball move across your screen). Many of my clients across Texas and Virginia do EMDR via telehealth and get the same results as in-person sessions.
"What happens after EMDR? Will I need therapy forever?"
Once we've processed the target memories, many clients either stop therapy or shift to less frequent maintenance sessions. EMDR isn't designed to keep you in therapy indefinitely…the goal is to help your brain do its natural healing work so you can move on.
That said, new challenges might come up later, and you can always return for a tune-up.
Who EMDR Helps (Beyond PTSD)
I use EMDR with athletes and adults dealing with:
Assault, accidents, natural disasters
Childhood abuse or neglect
Witnessing violence
Medical trauma
Sports and Performance Issues:
Performance anxiety and mental blocks
Fear after injury ("What if I get hurt again?")
Identity crisis after retirement or losing your sport
"Choking" under pressure
Intrusive memories of failure or embarrassment
Panic attacks triggered by specific situations
Social anxiety rooted in past embarrassment
Health anxiety after a medical scare
Generalized anxiety with roots in earlier experiences
Depression and Low Self-Worth:
Negative beliefs formed in childhood
Shame and self-criticism
Feeling "stuck" in patterns you can't break
Attachment wounds (anxious or avoidant patterns)
Trust issues after betrayal
Difficulty with intimacy
Patterns of choosing the wrong people
When EMDR Might Not Be the Best Fit
EMDR isn't for everyone or every situation. It works best when:
You have specific memories or experiences to target (not just vague worry about the future)
You're stable enough to handle emotional processing
You have some basic coping skills or are willing to learn them
EMDR might not help with:
Conditions caused by brain injury or neurological issues (though it can help with emotional fallout)
Active substance use that's interfering with memory and processing
Severe dissociation where you can't stay present during sessions (though we can adapt)
If you're not ready for EMDR yet, that's okay. We can do other work first to get you there.
What to Expect After Your First Few EMDR Sessions
You might feel: Tired (like you just ran a mental marathon), lighter (like a weight lifted), emotional (tears or relief), vivid dreams (your brain continuing to process), or physically sore (tension releasing from your body).
You might experience: Old memories popping up, sudden insights about patterns in your life, decreased triggers from things that used to set you off, or feeling "different" in a way that's hard to describe.
You won't feel: Brainwashed, out of control, like your memories are gone, or like nothing happened (EMDR is subtle, but it's powerful).
The Bottom Line
EMDR isn't magic, but it can feel close when you've been stuck for years and suddenly you're not. It's not about reliving your trauma in excruciating detail. It's about helping your brain do what it's designed to do - process, integrate, and move on.
If you've tried talk therapy and felt like you understood everything but nothing changed, EMDR might be what bridges that gap. Talk therapy gives you insight; EMDR changes how your nervous system responds.
You still remember what happened. You just don't get hijacked by it anymore.
Ready to see if EMDR is right for you? I'm an EMDR-trained therapist in Dallas specializing in trauma, anxiety, and sports performance issues. I work with athletes and adults throughout Texas and Virginia via telehealth. Schedule a free 15-minute consultation to talk through your goals and see if we're a good fit.
